8.08.2011

Let's go back to how it all began...

August 8, 2004
3:30 AM

He texted me this message:
"Yup... kilala mo na siguro kung sino yun? I'm sorry kung lagi kitang naiisip. Di ko naman alam kung papaano gagawin to eh :) hehehe di ba nga sabi ko hindi ko pa nga kaya ang sarili ko tapos magsasama pa ako ng isa, pero ewan ko. bigla na lang eh. okay lang kung ayaw mo. Wala naman akong hinihingi, gusto ko lang sabihin. Nahihiya na ako hehehe Corny kaya ayaw ko eh" (01:54:43AM 08/08/04)
And now I can't sleep. My stomach is in knots and I can't think of anything now but how my life has turned topsy-turvy since I have read that message...


It was around 1:30AM when he texted me, saying he could not sleep because he was thinking. "Of what?", I asked. I added that I, too could not sleep because I was thinking of a way to manage my day to be able to do all my coursework and requirements (It's almost midterms, you know!). He said he was thinking of things, but he did not emphasized, so I replied back, telling him to finish what ever it is that he was saying. He just said that he is thinking of someone, and that he is wondering if they are only friends or there is more than friendship between them. But he quickly followed up, saying that maybe they would be better off as friends; still he repeated that he just couldn't take his mind off of her. Out of curiosity, jealousy and excitement, I insisted that he tell me who that person is... and that was his reply.

When we were talking about "that person", I somehow had an inkling that he was referring to me. I simply don't want to get my hopes up, only to be disappointed in the end. Besides, that would be too assuming, right? I never expected that reply however. I managed to reply with:
"Okay. Nagulat ako dun ah. Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ang sasabihin. Totoo. Basta, one thing's certain -- it's mutual. Huwag ka munang tumawag please? Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin sayo e. Hehe"
I know I won't be able to sleep, but I have to. I told him that I don't know what to do. Being an NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth!), this situation is so foreign to me. He replied by saying he feels the same way and that I should take my time. He stressed that he doesn't expect anything in return. He then asked me when are we going to talk about "us". I checked my schedule and I still can't figure out if I can find time this weekend. He said it's okay and asked if I feel anything for him. I told him that I haven't labeled whatever feelings I have for him. But this I assured him: I am afraid of losing someone whom I can't afford to lose. I am no risk-taker, but this is a leap of faith that I am willing to take. I threw back to him his question. His reply?
"I just need to grow up. Lagi na lang akong natatakot na walang mangyayari. All I know is that I have strong feelings for YOU..."

I really can't believe all that is happening. Maybe this guy is just bangag. Maybe by tomorrow, he'll wake up and say that all he said last night was a joke... a very bad joke. Or maybe, I'll find myself waking up from this wonderful dream... If indeed I am dreaming, can you please let me be?

♥ Vanenie


Bf and gf, December 2004.
Newlyweds and pregnant with Sophie, April 2009.
Dada and Mommy with Sophie in Bohol, November 2010.

Family picture with our newest member, another baby girl named Ellie, June 2012.

2 comments:

Spanish Pinay said...

awwwww kilig! I so love stories like this :)

Spanish Pinay

Vanenie said...

hehe thanks sis ;) a love story in the age of technology (may texting involved e.) medyo long distance so we have to do what we have to do. teka, you should know! countries apart kayo dati ni hubby mo right? ;) I snooped around and read his blog hehe

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